I've made a few little amendments here and there, and quite like the idea of starting off Aeris's section at the same point as Cloud's, so I'm going to do some more amendments. For now though:
Cloud (not much of a change):
He sighed then as his mind latched onto the connotations of both 'Aeris' and 'bed', and the appealing combination they made. With a last thought of emerald green eyes, he fell asleep.
Aeris:
She needed this right now; her mind conjured up images of Cloud lying beside her running his hands and tongue across her body before sliding between her legs and slipping inside her. Her orgasm came quick and intense, her gasp of pleasure stifled by her hand before she lay still, sated for now. She lazily anticipated the pleasurable possibilities of the next morning as she grew increasingly drowsy and finally fell asleep.
The sound of the front door closing woke Aeris abruptly. Had that been Cloud leaving? She strained her ears for further noises, faintly catching the crunch of boots on the path outside. Flinging her bed clothes aside she got dressed hurriedly. She was not going to be left behind. She threw open her door and hurried down the stairs, not caring about the noise. She paused only to snatch her staff up from beside the door as she ran out into Sector Five, taking the more secret backways and shortcuts to get ahead of the SOLDIER.
Hmmm... I think I will keep the Bee girls as they are in the end - I think it feels right that they might be jaded about anyone seeing them naked/half-naked especially given the heavily implied nature of where they work - and yeah having Cloud make them uncomfortable obliviously might strike a bit of an unwanted tone. That said, OGC its very easy to see that Cloud is totally blind to the social cues and that is why he is able to walk right in without a second thought.
I did kind of consider letting Cloud wear the negligee like that (and there is a right-seemingness to the idea that after this episode Cloud really does discover he likes a kink for silky/girly clothing - and the idea he's wearing it under his normal clothing. ...by this point I have to wonder if there is a Rocky Horror crossover somewhere...). That said the negligee feels a little incongrous to his costume - this is a weird thought process, but... if Cloud wears the negligee then presumably he keeps his normal underwear on; thereby mashing together two clearly unmatching underwear styles. Its not as if he is expecting anyone to see under his dress, so wearing the negligee with no real possibility of it being seen feels wasteful (unless Cloud decides to go commando, but, I really can't see him comfortable doing that in this situation), so he's prepared to go as far as the bikini briefs, but doesn't want them seen either, but at least that won't look incongrous.
I clearly put way too much thought into that.
Haha! Squats now mentioned by name to make it clear.
...the idea of Cloud and Aeris winding up having sex in the changing room because they both wind each other up a bit too far is really amusing - but for another fic somewhere I think (and reminds me of a sketch I saw of a guy in an office asking his co-worker out. She tells him they don't know anything about each other, and he tells her that's the point of the date. Then she subsequently lets slip little details as he gets flustered and keeps asking her to save it for the date so they have something to talk about. Eventually it culminates in her just saying "I'll ride you so hard tonight.")
Ah! Actually given the roleplay in the Honeybee Inn, its tempting to have people make that connection and that President Shinra is somewhat notorious for heading over there with lackeys ferrying Larp gear, so obviously the girl in purple is part of his group.
...and here's the amended end of Aeris's section of chapter 2, which is hopefully a little less forward/little less honest about Zack:
Aeris drew in a breath and stepped forward. "I like you Cloud. I really like you. I've enjoyed the time we've spent together. Even if you did try and run off." Cloud smiled, embarrassed and ducked his head.
"Aeris, I-"
She took another step closer and interrupted him. "I meant what I said last night." Her tone was warm as she took another step. "I wanted you to stall this morning until my mother was gone." A final step and she was right beside him. "I'm not looking for love or commitment, but I do want company, not just friendship. I want to feel good again, and I want you to help me... if you're interested."
Fingers now reached out to touch the waist of his dress and then her fingertips darted lightly up to his chest, in between his fake breasts. He hadn't responded, but his heart was hammering in his chest, and looking up at his face she could just about see the hints of a blush beneath the make-up. His body was already saying 'yes', but she needed him to say it first. "Will you help me, Cloud? Will you..." She played coy, hoping it would still coax the response she wanted. "Sleep with me?" she continued.
He inhaled again then, a sharp breath, his face fighting a smile that threatened to overwhelm his features. "Yes," he said simply. Her body reacted, a flush of excitement ignited like fire across her face, sweeping down her neck and onto her chest. A wonderful thrill flooded her belly, and deep within her an itch craved attention. She was so very much aware of a need to be touched, and soon. She smiled back at him.
no subject
Cloud (not much of a change):
He sighed then as his mind latched onto the connotations of both 'Aeris' and 'bed', and the appealing combination they made. With a last thought of emerald green eyes, he fell asleep.
Aeris:
She needed this right now; her mind conjured up images of Cloud lying beside her running his hands and tongue across her body before sliding between her legs and slipping inside her. Her orgasm came quick and intense, her gasp of pleasure stifled by her hand before she lay still, sated for now. She lazily anticipated the pleasurable possibilities of the next morning as she grew increasingly drowsy and finally fell asleep.
The sound of the front door closing woke Aeris abruptly. Had that been Cloud leaving? She strained her ears for further noises, faintly catching the crunch of boots on the path outside. Flinging her bed clothes aside she got dressed hurriedly. She was not going to be left behind. She threw open her door and hurried down the stairs, not caring about the noise. She paused only to snatch her staff up from beside the door as she ran out into Sector Five, taking the more secret backways and shortcuts to get ahead of the SOLDIER.
Hmmm... I think I will keep the Bee girls as they are in the end - I think it feels right that they might be jaded about anyone seeing them naked/half-naked especially given the heavily implied nature of where they work - and yeah having Cloud make them uncomfortable obliviously might strike a bit of an unwanted tone. That said, OGC its very easy to see that Cloud is totally blind to the social cues and that is why he is able to walk right in without a second thought.
I did kind of consider letting Cloud wear the negligee like that (and there is a right-seemingness to the idea that after this episode Cloud really does discover he likes a kink for silky/girly clothing - and the idea he's wearing it under his normal clothing. ...by this point I have to wonder if there is a Rocky Horror crossover somewhere...). That said the negligee feels a little incongrous to his costume - this is a weird thought process, but... if Cloud wears the negligee then presumably he keeps his normal underwear on; thereby mashing together two clearly unmatching underwear styles. Its not as if he is expecting anyone to see under his dress, so wearing the negligee with no real possibility of it being seen feels wasteful (unless Cloud decides to go commando, but, I really can't see him comfortable doing that in this situation), so he's prepared to go as far as the bikini briefs, but doesn't want them seen either, but at least that won't look incongrous.
I clearly put way too much thought into that.
Haha! Squats now mentioned by name to make it clear.
...the idea of Cloud and Aeris winding up having sex in the changing room because they both wind each other up a bit too far is really amusing - but for another fic somewhere I think (and reminds me of a sketch I saw of a guy in an office asking his co-worker out. She tells him they don't know anything about each other, and he tells her that's the point of the date. Then she subsequently lets slip little details as he gets flustered and keeps asking her to save it for the date so they have something to talk about. Eventually it culminates in her just saying "I'll ride you so hard tonight.")
Ah! Actually given the roleplay in the Honeybee Inn, its tempting to have people make that connection and that President Shinra is somewhat notorious for heading over there with lackeys ferrying Larp gear, so obviously the girl in purple is part of his group.
...and here's the amended end of Aeris's section of chapter 2, which is hopefully a little less forward/little less honest about Zack:
Aeris drew in a breath and stepped forward. "I like you Cloud. I really like you. I've enjoyed the time we've spent together. Even if you did try and run off." Cloud smiled, embarrassed and ducked his head.
"Aeris, I-"
She took another step closer and interrupted him. "I meant what I said last night." Her tone was warm as she took another step. "I wanted you to stall this morning until my mother was gone." A final step and she was right beside him. "I'm not looking for love or commitment, but I do want company, not just friendship. I want to feel good again, and I want you to help me... if you're interested."
Fingers now reached out to touch the waist of his dress and then her fingertips darted lightly up to his chest, in between his fake breasts. He hadn't responded, but his heart was hammering in his chest, and looking up at his face she could just about see the hints of a blush beneath the make-up. His body was already saying 'yes', but she needed him to say it first. "Will you help me, Cloud? Will you..." She played coy, hoping it would still coax the response she wanted. "Sleep with me?" she continued.
He inhaled again then, a sharp breath, his face fighting a smile that threatened to overwhelm his features. "Yes," he said simply. Her body reacted, a flush of excitement ignited like fire across her face, sweeping down her neck and onto her chest. A wonderful thrill flooded her belly, and deep within her an itch craved attention. She was so very much aware of a need to be touched, and soon. She smiled back at him.