Yes, more of a transition for both the sleeping sections and in-between them would probably help. Since they really do span a similar time period, maybe Aerith's should start out like Cloud's, with her offer? Not necessarily the exact moment of but her reflecting on the fact that she's made it now, she's acted on that little attraction that's been rattling around since she saw him in sector 1. Though she doubt it could ever lead into anything serious, since... and then maybe her reflecting on Zack.
The girls ARE concerned about him bursting into the room, but it's debatable how much Cloud catches since most of that's "(dialogue)" lines iirc (indicating they're likely whispered/pretty sure ones like "pooch" are just thought ) and Cloud doesn't react to them. It's possible that they're concerned but trying to turn things around on Cloud by embarrassing him and proving for themselves that he isn't any more than a hapless weirdo who doesn't know how to handle women. (...the potential accuracy in this is... well, it's not the kindest way to look at Cloud. XD;)
...Actually looking at the lines of one exchange too I'm kind of wondering if Cloud is really just that plain blind about social cues or appropriate behavior because the woman's actually all nervous about saying hello and he's like "oh yeah let me introduce myself all suave and cool" and it's like "Cloud gtfo of their changing room already". I SINCERELY THINK HE DOESN'T GET IT. Like, this is Cloudovision before we even get to Kalm and he thinks he's doing okay while Aerith is like "Cloud, wtf". So I mean. I think it'd be kind of fun to spin it so that this is sincerely how Cloud perceives the situation, he doesn't realize the girls are nervous and he thinks them going about their business is a lot more confident and teasing than they really feel, with maybe some kind of subtle indication for the reader to pick up that no, he was wrong.
...And then I kind of worry about myself finding it fun because a guy not perceiving that a girl's uncomfortable/thinking she's teasing when she's just trying to get her own stuff done is how some genuinely bad interactions for women occur so um. Treat this whole suggestion with a BIG grain of salt and feel free to ignore it and play the dressing room as the Honey Bee Inn girls being genuinely confident around Cloud without the what Cloud perceives/what's actually going on weirdness. Pretty much random idea since the canon dressing room DOES bring up that bit of discomfort for women buuuuut not necessarily fun for sex fic...
...Oh lol 'barely there negligee' sounds even more hilarious for Miss Cloud outfit (and makes me remember the weird Cloud in rp who wore pink lingerie for Zack out of the blue, it wasn't requested, and got mad when Zack laughed), but I can see why you might avoid that for the sex fic. I mean, unless Cloud realizes when he wears the dress that he really does like the feel of silky fabric... ... ... my brain's wandering massively because there actually has been fic of Cloud discovering he has a kink for silky/girly clothing (from a kinkfic fest, I have no idea how to find it again, but it concludes on the note of him wearing lingerie under his typical clothing as he rides Fenrir and feeling self-conscious but oddly aroused) and. Heh. BUT YES unless he discovers a sudden kink for silk and lace and slinky things probably should stick with the boxers. And yeah logically he could probably use a little bit of padding in his dress up there.
...Ah! Well, it's good that squats are at least what you meant to suggest XD Yeah, I'd really suggest switching "kata" to "squats" (or... if there is another way to smoothly describe squats, that...?) as kata being a Japanese word is going to make people think you're alluding to something that is more Japanese (like a martial arts form or something). Squats are... they're squats. They're everywhere!
Well, Cloud is either being a gentleman, or just really not comfortable with having sex in cramped changing room with the propriator and his daughter just outside.
Admittedly I didn't think that Cloud would think that going into the dressing room would lead to sex-- I picture if Cloud did it his mindset would be fighting fire with fire and trying to get Aerith a little more worked up so she realizes how serious it'll get if she keeps teasing him! (... so now that I've actually thought this out, it pretty much reads as "Cloud accidentally winds up having sex in the dressing room because he wound up Aerith too much as warning HER not to wind him up"... oh Cloud. But no they have to find Tifa so he's just not going to go in there at all.)
I'm kind of amused to consider what people might think a girl is carting a sword around in Wall Market for, even if they think it's a prop. Especially if they think it's a prop. ("What kind of roleplay is that?" "Oh, boy, that president who keeps visiting the inn is pulling out all the stops tonight, huh.")
no subject
The girls ARE concerned about him bursting into the room, but it's debatable how much Cloud catches since most of that's "(dialogue)" lines iirc (indicating they're likely whispered/pretty sure ones like "pooch" are just thought ) and Cloud doesn't react to them. It's possible that they're concerned but trying to turn things around on Cloud by embarrassing him and proving for themselves that he isn't any more than a hapless weirdo who doesn't know how to handle women. (...the potential accuracy in this is... well, it's not the kindest way to look at Cloud. XD;)
...Actually looking at the lines of one exchange too I'm kind of wondering if Cloud is really just that plain blind about social cues or appropriate behavior because the woman's actually all nervous about saying hello and he's like "oh yeah let me introduce myself all suave and cool" and it's like "Cloud gtfo of their changing room already". I SINCERELY THINK HE DOESN'T GET IT. Like, this is Cloudovision before we even get to Kalm and he thinks he's doing okay while Aerith is like "Cloud, wtf". So I mean. I think it'd be kind of fun to spin it so that this is sincerely how Cloud perceives the situation, he doesn't realize the girls are nervous and he thinks them going about their business is a lot more confident and teasing than they really feel, with maybe some kind of subtle indication for the reader to pick up that no, he was wrong.
...And then I kind of worry about myself finding it fun because a guy not perceiving that a girl's uncomfortable/thinking she's teasing when she's just trying to get her own stuff done is how some genuinely bad interactions for women occur so um. Treat this whole suggestion with a BIG grain of salt and feel free to ignore it and play the dressing room as the Honey Bee Inn girls being genuinely confident around Cloud without the what Cloud perceives/what's actually going on weirdness. Pretty much random idea since the canon dressing room DOES bring up that bit of discomfort for women buuuuut not necessarily fun for sex fic...
...Oh lol 'barely there negligee' sounds even more hilarious for Miss Cloud outfit (and makes me remember the weird Cloud in rp who wore pink lingerie for Zack out of the blue, it wasn't requested, and got mad when Zack laughed), but I can see why you might avoid that for the sex fic. I mean, unless Cloud realizes when he wears the dress that he really does like the feel of silky fabric... ... ... my brain's wandering massively because there actually has been fic of Cloud discovering he has a kink for silky/girly clothing (from a kinkfic fest, I have no idea how to find it again, but it concludes on the note of him wearing lingerie under his typical clothing as he rides Fenrir and feeling self-conscious but oddly aroused) and. Heh. BUT YES unless he discovers a sudden kink for silk and lace and slinky things probably should stick with the boxers. And yeah logically he could probably use a little bit of padding in his dress up there.
...Ah! Well, it's good that squats are at least what you meant to suggest XD Yeah, I'd really suggest switching "kata" to "squats" (or... if there is another way to smoothly describe squats, that...?) as kata being a Japanese word is going to make people think you're alluding to something that is more Japanese (like a martial arts form or something). Squats are... they're squats. They're everywhere!
Well, Cloud is either being a gentleman, or just really not comfortable with having sex in cramped changing room with the propriator and his daughter just outside.
Admittedly I didn't think that Cloud would think that going into the dressing room would lead to sex-- I picture if Cloud did it his mindset would be fighting fire with fire and trying to get Aerith a little more worked up so she realizes how serious it'll get if she keeps teasing him! (... so now that I've actually thought this out, it pretty much reads as "Cloud accidentally winds up having sex in the dressing room because he wound up Aerith too much as warning HER not to wind him up"... oh Cloud. But no they have to find Tifa so he's just not going to go in there at all.)
I'm kind of amused to consider what people might think a girl is carting a sword around in Wall Market for, even if they think it's a prop. Especially if they think it's a prop. ("What kind of roleplay is that?" "Oh, boy, that president who keeps visiting the inn is pulling out all the stops tonight, huh.")
Ahhh, the line being a holdover makes sense.